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Unforgiven Tomb

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Chasing the silence

That the chases you back.

To the places inside your head

You cannot unlock.

Stuck in a tomb with all four walls

Brick by brick they will not fall.

No wavering in the wind

You hear everything.

You cover your ears

shouting at the sound to leave.

Nothing you can do.

This tomb is unforgiving.

All the noise gathers around

allowing the sound to bombard you

With threats of self doubt.

You recognize it for what it is.

You recognize it.

Still chasing the silence

Looking for a way out.

For a way to kill the self doubt.

 

 

 

 

Beautiful Flaws

Sometimes through the horizon I see the places we lack. The world spins, and there is no turning back. Our past is paved from stones we know not what it looks like overturned. We walk towards a future beyond the horizon, out of our grasp. Hoping love will shatter the sheet of glass covering our eyes. hoping those shards show us that eventually we bleed all red in the end. I look beyond this horizon, never looking down. But always looking up towards a sky highlighted by sunlight. Allowing us to see the flaws that we carry beneath our exterior. These flaws pieced together allow us to be together. Because there is no perfection in the eyes of those who see flaws as beautiful.

Free the chaos

I see the chaos in your rainbows, and all the pain you hold there. The world enfolding, caving into your bleeding chest. Your eyes water as it cascades down your stone body. Cold and barren, you are lost among the stars. You are lost without a vessel to beat within your chest. You are chaos awaiting the warmth that allows you to truly trust. You are awaiting a place to grow your love. An infinite warmth spreading to your lungs. To give you your first breathe. Long and deep you inhale the shadows and exhale the pain. Allowing your breathe to set fire to your veins. To burn away everything. To lite the shadows trembling, when the light hits it with its infinite flames. To burn away everything you fear and bring forth all that you need. You are truly free.

Light within the Darkness

Sometimes the chaos around us starts to shake the foundation. Our only way to survive is to move up. To allow ourselves to break free from where we were once stuck. Our foundation is what holds us together . It allows us to see who we truly are from within.

Fear only amplifies the places inside that keeps us stuck. We view it as many things; pain, anger, and sadness. Our ability to survive depends on how we allow ourselves to accept the change in our lives. Some like me fight it at first, but others know that you have to keep moving forward in order to find the place where you are meant to be.

You must continue fighting and loving those around you. You must see you are worth this life no matter how hard it is. You were put here for a reason. Maybe you haven’t found your purpose yet, but you will. Not every person who lays in the darkness stays in the darkness.

Light will always find a way to you. Some things in life are temporary,and so are the things happening to you now. When we go through it, it may feel like the world is ending, but it’s not. It’s leading you to way better things. You just have to make the choice to change your situation or allow it to flow to you. It all starts with love ❤️, and learning to love yourself enough to know you are worth everything you deserve.

Dark Goddess Rising

I caressed the darkness and molded it onto my skin. I felt It’s comforting embrace. Broken down piece by piece I allowed it to consume my mind. Eyes only seeing the shadows and the creatures that crawled beneath behind them. Looking towards the sky. The moon illuminated scales on my luminous skin. Rainbow shades reflected on the street lamp above me. I could only hold my human form for mere hours. I felt freer in my true form. The street lamps flickered as I walked towards the end of the block. The power I welded embed and flowed through me. Electrical current refracted off the street around me. Hovering off the ground I watched the street below lose all light except for the moon. The dark goddess shall rise again……

Embrace yourself

Some days I beat myself up over small things that don’t even matter. One has to ask them self why they care what other people think of them. What causes someone to tear themselves down over someone else’s opinion. In the end, that person isn’t living your life for you. They don’t embrace your chaos like you should yourself. Your chaos is your own to deal with, and live with. Our minds are the ones that have their own battlefield. We either fight ourselves or embrace ourselves. Life is hard enough without mentally hurting ourselves. In the scheme of things this battlefield we live in is what causes us to hit rock bottom or glide up the ladder to the top.

Knowing the type of person we are is what gives us leverage over the people who don’t know what we are going through. Our shoes are filled already why carry the weight of other people’s opinions. Embrace who you are no matter what. Strength comes from accepting yourself for who you are. It’s knowing what steps you will take to get to a place where you share your love and joy with others. It’s giving yourself the time to love and accept your flaws. Your flaws are what make you beautiful. It shows the other people around you, that you are human.

Silent Beginnings

You take me to the silence, to hear the words within it.

To give myself this moment.

You free me from this fear.

This deep freeze that chokes my vocal cords.

This numbness that allows me to slowly feel it.

I remember you from the beginning.

Just you and I living. when the world wasn’t so forgiving.

We only cherished this healing.

I remember your deep heavy breathing, as we collided to begin with.

We crossed lives from within.

Gave each other everything.

Silent moments bleeding into the next.

Time going by so fast.

Eyes seeing all our flaws.

Believing they didn’t matter.

All our secrets falling to the floor.

Lives evolving into something more.

Beauty blooming into love.

Becoming the butterfly

Sometimes we leave pieces of ourselves in our memories. Memories left in time. When we are going through phases in our lives, we leave behind an essence of who we used to be. Sometimes the good and sometimes the bad. The good thing about being human is we are allowed to grow and change.

We shed the life lessons we learned to gain new ones. if you never learn you never grow into yourself. Many people compare this to becoming a butterfly 🦋. A butterfly goes through so many metamorphosis’s as a caterpillar before it can become the butterfly. I believe this is why we as humans relate to the butterfly so much. We don’t always change physically but mentally. We learn to let go of those that become toxic to our wellbeing. Those that don’t help us in our long journey. We learn to grow from those people. So we can grow into our true selves.

We become butterflies to shed the pieces ourselves that no longer serves a purpose in our lives. The butterfly has always played a big role in my life because when my dad died I kept seeing monarch butterflies around me. It made me feel like he was always around me in that form.

In my life becoming the butterfly meant losing a part of myself to gain something much better, a guardian angel. Although my dad is gone he lives within my memories like a never ending movie. He became a butterfly in a different way, in the best way. His essence will always live within the things I do or say. The way I live today shows me just how much what he taught me when he was alive affects my life. In a way he helped me become the butterfly by giving me life lessons that would carry me through my life.

Love Infinitely

Love is an infinite thing no matter where it’s coming from. It shifts and changes over time, but gives each person who feels it a certain glow. When you love the people around you it shows you how much you are willing to do for them just because you care. Caring for someone means you will do something for someone without expecting anything in return. Selfless love means you don’t care what happens to you as long as the other person is safe.

All our lives we search for love outside ourselves when in fact it’s been inside us all along. When you start with loving yourself, you start to radiate love to others sharing it with them. There are so many ways to love and be loved. Sometimes there are milestones someone has to hit before they truly love who they are. Even I struggle with loving myself sometimes. The is thing, you don’t have to love yourself all at once. Pick little things you like about yourself and keep telling yourself that. Everyday add something to that list. Eventually it will become a habit for you to love yourself.

Living life is a series of trial and errors. Nobody is perfect, so be patient with yourself. Take the time to love yourself no matter the flaws you think you have. Chances are someone one day may love the flaws you have because they make you unique to them. Don’t ever suppress your own glow to make someone else happy. Someone will love all sides of you no matter the flaws you have. Love means overlooking your flaws to see the true beauty underneath.

For the longest time I struggled with loving who I am just to please others. The thing that I realized is I have to live with myself everyday not the people who are bringing me down. I gave them the power to do that because I didn’t love myself enough to tell them to stop. Everyday I would think positive thoughts about myself, and it became a habit to love myself.

You must make it a habit to love yourself no matter who is in your life. Whether they are there for a season or for a longer amount of time. At the end of the day you are the one that has to look in the mirror. You decide on who and what you allow into your life. I did and it made my life so much better. Now I love myself regardless of who is in my life.

Seeking love outside of yourself is great, but not when it comes at the cost of losing who you are as a person. If someone truly loves you for you, they will never make you feel insecure about who you are. They will love and care about you because you have those flaws. I have watched so many people in relationships give up who they are for the other person. It causes them to lose pieces of who they are. Never allow yourself to lose pieces of who you are just to please others. If they don’t accept you for who you are now, then they don’t deserve to be in your life. You know what you will accept and what you won’t accept. Always follow your intuition when it comes to these things.

Sometimes to grow we have to change and move, but not when it takes away your happiness. If someone truly loves you they will always try to make you happy because they like to see you smile. But at the end of the day you have to make yourself happy no matter what. Your happiness comes from within. That’s why self love is so important. It allows you to know what you do and don’t deserve. You deserve so much more than what someone who doesn’t care can give you.

Above all else love yourself first, that is something I always hear from others. It’s so true, people will always follow your lead. If you don’t respect yourself some people can sense it and they will take advantage of it. You have to allow yourself to know what you will let someone say or do to you. The first time they do it that’s when you see their true colors. Like the saying goes fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. The longer you let someone do you wrong the more they will keep doing because you as a person allowed them to. This gives them a signal that you are okay with what they are doing bad to you, and you will allow it to keep happening.

I myself have went through times where someone I met has done me wrong or ghosted me and then they come back saying I am sorry for it. I give them another chance and they do it again. The thing is people know what they do, and if you allow it they will walk all over you , or me in that case. I didn’t love myself enough to notice that I deserved better. Now I know and learned a lesson from it. I will never again let someone take away my self worth just because they think I will let them. You have to be strong enough to know that your self worth is so much more than what someone else can give you if it’s done the wrong way. Moral of the story here, respect yourself enough to know what you deserve.

Yes love is infinite, but it can also be blind. It blinds us to what someone else is doing wrong. So be careful with who you share yourself with. Not everyone has the best intentions towards you. It’s always hard to know what someone’s intentions are towards you.

All in all there’s my rant on love and what we deserve. I hope you like it. Feel free to comment any points I missed in this post.

Thanks, Telina

Heal yourself, lose the darkness

In my darkest state of mine I allowed my judgement to lapse. To trust the wrong people, and to do things I know wasn’t making me happy. I no longer want to be in this darkness. I want to be in the light. Absorbing the illuminating light. Nurturing myself in the best way possible. To love myself even though sometimes I don’t alway love who I am. They say that true love comes from within. I believe that wholly and Truly. Loving yourself means giving yourself the things you know you deserve. Rejecting the things that bring the darkness to you. Rejecting people who bring you darkness. Only the light can truly heal you and give you a better perspective on life. Your light can heal you, so trust your judgement. Embrace your light.

Fading In

I fade deep into you.

oh, but I lose a piece of my truth in you.

I beg for this pain to bleed through;

To see you.

I give so many pieces of myself to you

But I lose pieces of my heart to you.

I leave these memories in my head to you;

Eternal truth

I brave these cold winters to make it to you.

I’d freeze over a million times to see you;

To be you.

To believe in you again

I give my all to everything that you are.

I give my heart

An eternal love

I believe in you.

My truth.

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